Sigh...
Christmas is flinging itself upon us so swiftly with much screaming and badgering and buy and shoving and pushing and it seems to enjoy this. I however - do not.
While I do enjoy the day itself, the lead up with the shouting and last minute gift buying and general mayhem that precedes the day is very tiring. I enjoy making people whom I care about happy, but there are times when I do not feel like anyone actually feels or cares enough to see if
I am happy or if they can do something nice for me. it feels like it is always give, give, give and no one ever stops to say thanks or do something for me without my asking - which I rarely do, as I don't really think of it so much.
Possible short coming of mine I know but...doesn't seem right to ask for things all the time.
But, it seems a small sacrifice to pay to those whom I care about and love. usually lol
I have a very small support network, and few friends, which is sad, but I seem to cope ok. My partner has Bipolar 1, and various anxiety disorders, which makes ita very hard relationship to be in, but just over 8 years in it, but it does get draining for me. I don't understand a lot of things he goes on with, but i do try my best and mainly just accept everything and just keep going with my life and uni study and trying to keep things in line - which I do not do very well, that is for sure, but I haven't given up yet, so there is still hope.
Anyway.. something about me I guess seeing as this is my first post, and all even though this has been up for a few days I've been too worried about what to write to actually have my first post (yes I know - stupid internets girl)
I enjoy reading. A lot. I use a site called Magistream, where you raise/breed/sell creatures of real and mythical origins. I am also Mordeth there.
I live In Australia, in the lovely Hunter Valley. I can not wait until i have a proper job and can afford land and then horses again - I grew up around them, eventually bred and trained 3 of my own, which when I moved I had to sell them due to moving to an apartment and I didn't think they'd like living in a garage - nor would my landlord approve! sadly.I've played polocrosse - and love it! campdrafted, trail riding, pat parelli stuff, tent pegging pony club etc - love horses and can not wait to have a real one back in my life.
My other half, however - is not so keen. Dogs are ok, but the horse thing I have to work on him with lol - poor guy...doesn't know what he's in for...I want to eventually compete in a 3 day event, even just once. so high hopes, don't care about winning just want to do it...
I own a papillon and a mini foxie - although they live with my parents outside of Bundaberg in QLD, because of the apartment thingy. I'm not a cat person, like them, but don't want one. Ever.
so thats about it, I mainly made this to rant and vent about things in my life to help me cope - esp since I do not have any friends left after an incident that I feel comfortable talking to about things that go on, so here I am - ranting to the World Wide Web instead... way to make it super public girly.. oh well
Love,
Mordeth
